Apple Denies Collusion with FBI in Data Collection, Which Totally Means the FBI Didn't Do It, Because There's No Way They Could Have Collected All That Data from Any Other Source Or Be Lying About It

Here’s Apple’s denial of involvement:

The FBI has not requested this information from Apple, nor have we provided it to the FBI or any organization.

Pretty straightforward. Here’s the FBI’s non-denial denial:

At this time, there is no evidence indicating that an FBI laptop was compromised or that the FBI either sought or obtained this data.

Rebecca Greenfield, writing for the Atlantic Wire, at least has the sense to include a single skeptical sentence:

The FBI could have gotten access to it from someone other than Apple since many iOS apps also keep track of users’ UUIDs.

But then she undoes it right away with this nonsense:

But, without further proof from AntiSec, which still hasn’t talked, so far it looks like the hackers got the information elsewhere and that the government isn’t “USING YOUR DEVICE INFO FOR A TRACKING PEOPLE PROJECT OR SOME SHIT,” as AnitSec put it in their original post.

Does anyone really think the FBI—the FBI, people—is too pure and high-minded to just straightforwardly lie about this?

AntiSec has promised to give interviews on the incident if Gawker’s Adrian Chen posts pictures of himself wearing a tutu with a shoe on his head to Gawker’s homepage for an entire day. This he has now done. Your move, AntiSec.